Crush
by golfa chickie
Summary: Oneshot to Mandy Moore's song Crush. Pairing not so common. Please give it a chance and read and review it!


**A/N: Ok, here is a new story. Hope you enjoy it. It is not one of my normals. Please be nice, I really have doubts about this one. Now go read, enjoy, and review!  
Oh, and the song is _Crush_ by Mandy Moore and I do not own the song or the characters. **

* * *

Have you ever liked someone so much that it makes you hate yourself? Like you are not perfect enough for that person. You see that person and they are perfect and you can pick out thousands of flaws that you have. You see, there is this guy who I can say I am head over heels for. He is perfect in every way. I think he likes me back, but I don't know. Everything is so confusing.

_**You know everything that I'm afraid of  
**_

I will always remember that one day at work. The weather outside was awful; it was cold and rainy with the occasional thunderstorm. He knew my biggest fear was thunderstorms, how I don't know. Only my sister knew that. He had just walked by on his way to record with SME, but like always, he turned around to say hello. I had gotten up and walked over to him to try and start a little conversation when there was a loud burst of thunder and the sound of lightning striking. The whole place went black. I was terrified and could not see anything around. Then I felt his warm arms wrap around me.

"It will be ok Sadie. It is just a storm. No need to be scared, I am right here." He whispered to me as he carefully rubbed my back. In his arms, I felt so safe.

_**You do everything I wish I did  
**_

Everyday I have multiple run-ins with him. I see most everything that goes on while playing personal assistant to Liam. Sometimes I just sit and watch him. He always seems to amaze me. He is one of the few people who can tame my sister when she goes off, something I wish I could do. He can take the occasional put down from Tommy, but he somehow always manage to stay his smiling self. He never lets Tommy ruin his good mood, something I was never good at. He is the only one who can get SME to stay focused on one subject that is appropriate too. I admire him for those things, things I can only dream of doing. And there his is again, smiling at me.

_**Everybody wants you, everybody loves you**_

"Sadie, have you seen King Kwest?" Speed asks me, interrupting our moment.

"Yea, he is in the studio." I reply pointing to him.

"Awesome." Speed says running off with the guys to record.

Though Darius doesn't see it, he has such a following. When Jude is mad at Tommy, there is only one person she works with and that is him. SME only records their best with him. Jamie looks at him for advice around here. There is Patsy who insists he is one of the few non-music killers around. Everyone wants and loves him, but not like me.

**_I know I should tell you how I feel_  
**

Every day, I tell myself "Sadie, today is the day you are going to tell him." But I never can. When I see him, I become so nervous and insecure. Does he really feel the same way?

_**I wish everyone would disappear  
**_

"Can someone take this to Kwest?" I hear Darius yell. I am quick to jump up and offer. As I walk to the studio, I can see him watching me approach.

"Hey Sadie, need something?" He asks me as he pulls a chair next to him hoping I will stay.

"From Darius." I say as I sit down for a brief moment.

"Thanks." Kwest says as I hand him the paper.

"No problem." I state as his hand rests on mine. We stay like that for a while just starring at one another.

"DUDE! Tell Kyle to learn how to stay on beat." Speed screams into the microphone.

"If your head wasn't so large with believing you are some kind of god, you would realize you were the one off beat." Kyle yells throwing his drum stick at Speed's head.

"I got to break this one up. Even Wally is in on it." Kwest laughs as he gets up to break the fight up that is happening on the other side of the glass.

When we have those moments, I just wish everyone else was gone. Maybe then I would let him know how I feel.

_**Everytime you call me, I'm too scared to be me  
**_

It is now a Saturday morning, and I am lying on the couch when the phone rings.

"Hello?" I say into the phone as I watch the TV.

"Hey Sades, it is Kwest." He replies.

"Oh…hey…how are you?" I reply nervously.

"Pretty good, and you?" He asks casually.

"Good." I reply not knowing what else to say. I am too worried in sounding like an idiot.

"That is good, is your sister there?" He asks after a brief pause hoping I would say something more.

_**And I'm too shy to say**_

Monday came fast and now I am walking into the studio with him. We both had a long lunch break today because of meetings. He asked me to a lunch, nothing fancy, just two friends hanging out. I was of course quick to accept the offer.

"Hey, thanks for coming with me. I had a great time." He says standing at my desk.

"I had a great time too and thank you. You really didn't have to do that." I reply referring to paying for my lunch.

"It was nothing, I will see you later." He says smiling even more as he starts to walk away.

After a minute, I yell for him to come back.

"Hmm Sadie?" He asks turning around.

"Kwest, I really like…" I start to say, but the words don't want to come out.

"Like?" He asks curiously.

"To do lunch again…soon." I reply after a minute and chickening out.

"Good, me too." He says as he stares at me for a minute.

He walks off and I sit there cursing myself for being to shy to admit that I like him as more then a friend.

_**Ooh, I got a crush on you**_

_**I hope you feel the way that I do**_

_**I get a rush when I'm with you**_

_**Ooh, I've got a crush on you**_

_**A crush on you**_

**_You know, I'm the one that you can talk to_**

"Hey, how are you?" He asks walking up to me causally one day.

"Pretty good and you?" I reply smiling at him.

"Ok, we are friends right?" He asks me.

"Yea, we are." I reply smiling.

"Would you mind if I took you out for coffee or something and unloaded a few problems on you?" He asks hesitantly.

"No, not one bit." I state.

"Good, how about tonight." He asks quickly.

"That is fine, but why me?" I reply confused on why he would choose me.

"You are different Sadie, I feel so comfortable around you and I trust you. I seriously could tell you anything and not worry. There aren't many people I could tell either." He explains.

"After work it is and I think Tommy is calling you." I reply as I see Tommy walking over.

_  
**Sometimes you tell me thing that I don't want to know**_

"What are you doing out here?" I ask as he sits in the kitchenette eating a sandwich.

"World War III is going on in there." He replies as he watches me get a glass of water.

"What happened this time?" I ask as I lean against the counter next to him.

"Jude caught Tommy breaking in the new intern." Kwest replies unsure if he should tell me.

"Oh." I reply a little hurt. Even though Tommy and I have been over for a good while, it still hurts.

"Yea." He replies.

"So, how is she taking it?" I ask after a minute.

"She is currently in the studio with Spiederman in a lip lock as they undress one another." Kwest replies rolling her eyes.

"She is what?" I ask caught off guard.

"She caught Tommy and the intern, they yelled for a while and then she said if Tommy can have 'play time' with anyone, she can too. So she yanked Spiederman away from the boys and there you go." Kwest replied trying not to laugh.

"That is…Jude?" I ask as he nods. "Next time, don't tell me."

_  
**I just want to hold you  
**_

We stand there for a minute smiling at each other again. Nothing is said nor needs to be said.

"I should probably go back in there." Kwest says after a few minutes.

"Yea, I should head back to the desk." I said disappointed.

"You still have ten minutes, come with me." He said and I smiled and nodded.

We walk to the studio side by side practically touching. We get to the door and can hear everything that is being said.

"Spiederman, get out now." Tommy growls.

"He can stay." Jude shouts back.

"Out, this is not the time and place for you two to be doing whatever the hell you are doing." Tommy replies.

"Hmm, but it was ok for the new intern to blow you?" Jude shouts.

"This isn't about me." Tommy yelled back.

"I think it is dude." Speed replied as he put his shirt on.

"Did you care about here huh? I care about Speed, so what is the difference?" Jude shouts.

"Jude." Tommy says standing up.

"What was she, just another one of your whores? Or was she like Sadie?" Jude shouts. She still tortures him about me for some reason.

"No she wasn't like Sadie. Sadie was different, she was complicated." Tommy replies.

"Did you love her?" Jude questions.

"No…yes…we were just…I don't know. Out Spiederman." Tommy shouts.

Hearing that I turn around to run away. As I turn around, I crash into him. He doesn't move and I wrap my arms around him crying into his chest. He tells me it is ok and Tommy is a jerk. Then Tommy appears throwing Spiederman out and telling Kwest that he needs to get in there. I just wish I could hold him for one more minutes, but I can't.

_**You say exactly how you feel about her  
**_

Later that day, before he leaves, he comes and finds me.

"Hey, feeling better?" He asks.

"Yea." I reply.

"Can you give me some advice?" He asks me.

"Sure." I state.

"You see, there is this girl. She is pretty cool and all. I really like her, I just don't know what to do. She has been through a lot lately and I am worried she might not feel the same. She is kind of off limits to me since she dated my best friend. I really like her and I want to ask her out. I just don't know how. She is special. She deserves the best. She is so smart and gorgeous and talented. What would you advise me to do?" He explains with ease. Maybe I was wrong.

"Tough situation you have there." I reply trying not to show my sadness.

"Well, if you were in that situation, how would you want it to go? Any ideas would help me Sades." He replies.

"If it were me, I would like something sweet and simple. Like flowers and a poem expressing that persons feelings. A note would be nice too. And having it come at the most unexpected time." I tell him.

"Thanks Sades, you rock." He tells me before he leaves.

_**I wonder, could you ever think of me that way  
**_

I watch him walk away with that smile. The one I wish was for me. He is on his phone now too. I had myself believing he felt the same way I did to find out he liked someone else. I just wish one day that love could be mine.

_**I got a crush on you  
I hope you feel the way that I do  
I get a rush when I'm with you  
Ooh, I've got a crush on you  
A crush on you**  
_  
**_Ooh, I wish I could tell somebody_**

**_But there's no one to talk to, nobody knows_  
**

Sometimes I think things would be easier if I told someone. I have tried and tried and failed over and over. Maybe I will tell Jude. She would support me. She is the one who made me really think about Kwest.

"Jude, can I tell you something? It is kind of important." I ask her as I walk into her room.

"Can it wait? I have to meet Speed in ten minutes. We are camping out for concert tickets tonight." Jude said as she grabbed her jacket.

"But it is…" I was trying to say.

"Yea, tomorrow. Bye!" Jude yells as she leaves her room.

"I just wanted to say that I really like Kwest." I say to myself as I hear the door slam shut.

_**I've got a crush on you**_

_**A crush on you, I got a crush**_

**_You say everything that no one says  
_**

Here I am, sitting alone at a little café. Everything around me seems to fall apart.

"You know, I told you once and I will tell you again; I am allergic to seeing pretty girls cry. So why don't you dry your eyes and tell me what is wrong." I hear someone say out of nowhere.

"Everything Kwest, everything is wrong." I reply once I realize that you aren't going away.

"Tell me Sadie." He states.

"Mom is gone again with Don. She never calls and if she does, she calls only Jude because her and Jude had that fight. Then dad is always wrapped up in her music. Jude and I had another fight and this time it was pretty bad. On top of all that, school is just getting too hard and I have no clue what I want to do with my life. I am considering dropping out." I confess.

"Don't drop out Sadie, you are too smart for that. You have a while to decide what you are going to do with your life. You are young and smart. I know you will be successful; I will even put money on it." He says trying to comfort me.

"You are just saying that. Why don't you tell me the truth, that I am a stuck up little girl who has to be 'Miss Perfect' all the time and everyone hates. I am the girl that no one will ever take serious and that is it." I yell at him.

"Because that is all lies Sadie. You are a smart and talented girl. People only see your looks when they make those assumptions. You are so much more. You are one of the smartest people I know and so down to Earth. I admire you Sadie. You put up with a lot but always manage to come out perfect." He tells me knowing what I need to hear and being sincere.

_**But I feel everything that you're afraid to feel  
**_

He told me once he was scared to fall in love. He had seen too many people hurt by love and he had been hurt too many times as well. He told me that he trusted people to a point, but very few people had his full trust. He also said that commitment was a fear of his as well. As a kid he moved a lot and then being associated with Tommy during the Boyz Attack era, he never really had time for a steady girlfriend. Then there is me, I love him and want that back. I can easily say I would trust him fully and want that commitment he hides from.

_**I will always want you, I will always love you  
**_

I know Tommy was literally the guy of my dreams, but he crushed me. Then there is Kwest, sweet and caring Kwest. I think I will always have these feelings for him. He was one to pick me up when Tommy broke me. He was there to encourage me with whatever I choose to do. He cheered the loudest for me when I was in that play. I will always have a spot for him in my heart.

Now it is ten o'clock at night and someone is ringing the doorbell. I grab my robe and walk downstairs. On the doorstep lies and envelope addressed to me. I open it to find a letter that reads:

_  
**I've got a crush on you**_

_**I hope you feel the way that I do**_

_**I get a rush when I'm with you**_

_**I got a crush on you, a crush on you**_

I reread the note two more times. Who could this be from? No one signed it either. The writing looked vaguely familiar and then he appeared holding a bouquet of red anthuriums; my favorite flower.

"You said that a note and a bouquet of flowers at the most expected time was the best way to tell you how I feel." He says smiling at me as he walks around the side of the house.

"You really mean this?" I ask lightly laughing walking up to him.

"Yea, I mean it." He replies as he leans into kiss me as I wrap my arms around his neck.

"I have a crush on you." I whisper into his lips. "And I know you feel the same way I do."

_**I've got a crush on you, a crush on you**_


End file.
